random


Yesterday, this girl definitely had a bad case of the Mondays. After a low key, enjoyable Super Bowl/Puppy Bowl/Glee Sunday, I was faced with a ridiculous task list at work. Some of the items on the list were normal, day to day tasks, but there was definitely more than a fair share of stress inducing items. From the moment I clocked in, I felt like everything that could go wrong did go wrong. It was difficult for me to keep a positive mindset throughout the day, and there may or may not have been a frustrating experience with our copier (I bet we’ve all had moments where we wished we could remake that scene from Office Space). It’s like Murphy wasn’t on my side. The only thing that slightly comforted me (in a weird way) was the fact that one of my managers was also approaching one of our projects with a similar sense of trepidation. At least we’re on the same team!

The only thing that got me through the day was knowing that after work, I had a date with yoga and wine. As luck may have it (or not), I found it really difficult to get in the right frame of mind for my yoga practice. I’m not sure if it was because it was a class with a new instructor, if I was rusty from a lack of yoga, or if my mind was too caught up with work, but regardless the reason, the first half of the class was difficult for me. I was physically and mentally drained, but once I was able to close off my mind and focus on the practice, I felt so much better. I was able to lay on the mat and release all the negative energy that had been keeping me stressed all day.

I got home and was greeted with a wonderful surprise. J had taken note of my stressful day at work and had dinner ready for me! I sat in the kitchen with a glass (or two) of wine while he finished getting everything ready.

Spaghetti isn’t normally a dish I’d order at a restaurant. I can sometimes be picky about how I like it prepared, but J gets it right each and every time!

The pasta was paired with french bread (toasted and topped with butter and Garlic Gold Parmesan Nuggets) and an unpictured salad.

Of course, we can’t forget about the wine!

Dinner was followed up with a date with my favorite Monday night shows – How I Met Your Mother, Gossip Girl and Pretty Little Liars. We were accompanied by a piece of S’mores Brownies that I had made over the weekend (inspired by Jessica)

Monday definitely had a rough start but shaped out to be an alright night. Hoping that things get better in the long run!

*hoping that this post made sense. Ecto deleted my original draft, so my mind is just a blur atm =P

If we’re going to be 100% honest here, I have to admit: I don’t really care about Super Bowl Sunday! This isn’t because I am against Super Bowl (or football) in general. I actually am a big fan of college football (Fight On! – obviously I’m a fan of USC football) and also root for the San Diego Chargers (Go Bolts!). Unfortunately, since the Chargers didn’t make the Super Bowl + I’m not a fan of either team that actually did make it, I’m not super invested in watching the actual game. If I had to choose a team to root for, I’d have to go with the Packers. I don’t like the Steelers (and I dislike “Big Ben” for reasons that extend beyond accusations of rape).

So I’m not into watching the actual football game. I know I’m not alone. BUT while the half time entertainment usually is pretty appealing to me, I’m disappointed to say that I’m not excited for THAT either. The Black Eyed Peas rank really low on my list of favorite performers (really, the list of performers I like in general). Yes, their songs are catchy, but I preferred them before they added Fergie to their ranks. Not a fan.

However, I AM excited to watch this year’s Puppy Bowl ! Yes, it’s basically hours of watching puppies play with each other, but to me, that’s hours of fluffy fun (heh)! I’m a sucker for the cuteness factor. I even picked out a favorite pup to root for

Mae Puppy Bowl.jpg [via Puppy Bowl]

Isn’t she adorable?! I wish I could take her home. She’d make a great little (big?) sister for Roxy =) Plus her mix is two of my favorite breeds.

I’m also looking forward to all the Super Bowl commercials. My favorites tend to be the ones with the E*TRADE baby.

A few past favorites of mine include:

and this one (which I don’t believe was a Super Bowl commerical, but is still funny!)

I also love the Snickers Betty White commercial!

I hope that everyone has fun tonight, whatever your plans may be! Are you watching the Super (or Puppy) Bowl? Who are you rooting for?

Today was such a blur to me! This morning, J and I spent much of our morning away from our house, but that didn’t prevent us from staring at THIS screen for the majority of the morning : Overcapacity.jpg

We were attempting to buy tickets for San Diego Comic-Con. I’ve lived in SD for about 9.5 years now, and have NEVER been! I’ve always had excuses such as being too broke (what? I was a college student for my first four years here!) or not having anyone to go with. The last few years, J and I have always wandered around Gaslamp while SDCC was going and we decided that we wanted to try and go this year.

Apparently, we chose the wrong year to try, because attempting to buy tickets was such a mess! I don’t even want to admit how many hours of my life were wasted trying to buy tickets. They were having so many issues finding a server that could keep up with ticket demand, that they had to postpone ticket sales several times!

So while we were home earlier, we tried and tried. Then J tried from his iPhone while we were out running errands. We’d get our hopes up and then we’d get THIS message: Not enough tix.jpg .

Needless to say, J was getting pretty frustrated, because he’d get pretty far along with the process, only to receive the same overcapacity message. It was hours full of hitting refresh fun! Soon, four day passes were all sold out, and we had to make the decision to try for single day tickets.

Eventually we had to stop and deal with a whole other issue (hello, Operation trying to save iPhone from death by washing machine*), and finally once, we got back to the computer, we were unfortunately met with THIS: soldout.jpg .

Not exactly the outcome we were hoping for, but we’re not in tears about it. As excited as we were to get tickets, we just couldn’t devote the time necessary to do so. Hopefully, things change as the months go by, and now I’ve learned an important lesson – have someone buy my 2012 ticket while they’re at this year’s event!

*the chain of events leading up to the iPhone’s appointment with the laundry salon is actually a ridiculous and comical story that I hope to share once we’ve found a solution to the problem!

This blog has been on the back burner for far too long, but I’ve thought of it often. I took a break in October with the promise (to myself? to my 3 readers) of coming back in a few days and clearing the air. But I honestly had no idea what to say.

My blog reading began in 2008. I had gained 30 pounds and was trying to jump start a new fitness regiment. While at the local 24 hour one day, I looked at the list of available fitness classes. I saw Pilates. Truth be told, I wasn’t really sure WHAT pilates was. I’ve heard about it (even recalled an episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. that mentioned it), but what was it exactly? So to Google I went, and upon searching for reviews on 24 hour fitness Pilates classes, I inadvertantly found Cara’s blog. So I read it, and was hooked. Through her blog, I found “big blogs” like Jenna’s, Tina’s, etc. and from them, other “smaller blogs”. Who knew that there was a whole blog world devoted to healthy living? Fact – I didn’t know what Google Reader was before I started reading Healthy Living Blogs!

So, I read and I read. Eventually I started logging all my meals and workouts on Sparkpeople.com and created a blogspot blog (a web address I can’t even remember) where I blogged for about a month.. I was motivated and I felt like I had found a support system. I considered myself to be a lurker on most blogs, but was posted on various Sparkpeople forums. Eventually, I lost the weight and was living a healthier lifestyle.

Somewhere along the way, I caught onto Personal Finance blogs. I began reading bloggers like Single Ma’s, FB and Give Me Back My Five Bucks and strived to become financially fit as well. Again, I started a blog and promptly abandoned it weeks later.

Eventually, I stopped reading blogs altogether. I wasn’t sure why at the time, but for some reason, I wasn’t drawn to them anymore. I let my Reader fill up and only glanced at it here and there. And then, just like that, I started reading them. I had gained some weight and was becoming too irresponsible with my money. And then, this blog was re-incarnated. I was at a loss,however, with what direction I wanted to take it in. I decided not to blog about PF because I wanted to keep this somewhat public. I wasn’t about to publicize it amongst my friends and family,but I wouldn’t go out of my way to hide it. So I decided to go forward with healthy living. And again, I was stuck. I had no idea what to say. Posting about my food and workouts made me nervous. I had ideas for posts in my head, but failed to blog about them because I kept playing the comparison game. My eats weren’t as healthy ( I don’t eat big salads, am allergic to nut butters and hate oatmeal – FOR SHAME!), my workouts were nothing compared to other bloggers( I don’t run sub 10 min miles, I couldn’t ride a bike to save my life,I don’t have money for a yoga studio membership, I don’t even wear Lululemon). I didn’t have helpful advice or interesting stories. There were so many blog cliques, how could I ever fit in?

Shortly before I stopped blogging again, the whole Marie Claire fiasco occurred. At first, i was fiercely defensive of the bloggers in question (and of the blog world). But, I began to realize that there was some truth in the story, if not necessarily about the “Big 6”. I thought back to my break away from blogs/sparkpeople, and I realized that while I was at my fittest/”healthiest” at the time, I WASN’T HAPPY. I was pushing myself too hard. I was constantly comparing myself to bloggers. I measured/weighed out every single morsel or bite of food I ate. If I slipped up and ate popcorn or nachos at the theater, I would get SO angry with myself. I emotionally ate, and subsequently fell victim to other disordered behaviors.I felt like I had to run races in order to be “healthy”. Thus, I ran a race i wasn’t ready for. I’d go on vacation, and if I didn’t have a gym available, I’d find the nearest Target/Wal-mart and buy a workout DVD to use inside our hotel room. And still, even on vacation, I logged every single bite. I wasn’t enjoying my food, I was feeling guilty about it. I wasn’t enjoying working out, I was pushing myself too hard. I was crying because I wasn’t good enough, or didn’t have enough discipline. I was perpetually cranky. Instead of recognizing how far I’d come (losing the weight, developing healthier habits), I had the mindset that it wasn’t good enough, that if I worked harder, I’d be better. Mixed in with an already low self esteem, I was starting to hate myself. It took me awhile to realize how unhealthy all of this was. I wasn’t myself. I was subconsciously trying too hard to be like everyone else. (The same occurred, on a smaller scale, with personal finance blogs. I tried so hard, but just like healthy living blogs, I would hate myself would I couldn’t be as disciplined as PF bloggers).

I’m much better now, but I still struggle sometimes. Blogs aren’t innately bad. I’ve learned a lot from them (delicious recipes, fun apps, useful websites such as Sparkpeople and Mint.com, etc). I just need to be careful with how they affect/influence me.

Which brings me to today. Why bother blogging if I don’t have anything substantial to say? But I do. I’ve decided to blog for me. If I want to talk about my workouts or something delicious I ate at a restaurant? I will. But I won’t force myself to. I can write about how much I spent here, there or everywhere…but I won’t HAVE to. There may or may not be a million posts about my dog.Or there might not. I won’t cry if I don’t have millions of readers. But most of all, I’m going to try my very hardest to do what’s best for me, without making comparisons to anyone else. I am who I am, without forcing myself into any one box.

Today, I am going to blog for ME. Who that is, I’m not quite sure, but I look forward to figuring that out. For now, I’m ok with having a blog that “lifecasts” rather than “mindcasts”. That could be subject to change later on, and that’s ok also. I’ll consider this a stepping stone into the world of blogging =) Hopefully, I’ll be able to find my voice, and my own niche in this huge community. There’s a lot of good in the blog community, and I would love to be part of that greater good. For every bad thing I’ve experience, I’ve experienced at least three more great things!

For your viewing pleasure – F.R.I.E.N.D.S. “The One with Rachel’s Other Sister” aka the first time I ever heard of Pilates!

I’ve been thinking a lot about what direction I’d like to take with this blog, and I should have a post up sometime in the next day or so.

There a lots of factors to consider and I want to make sure that I stick with blogging this time around =)

I turn 28. at that point, i can no longer toy with the idea that i am in my “mid twenties”. Although, I guess if I’m honest with myself, I’d admit that I’ve been in my late twenties for the past year.

I’ve had a lot of visions about where I thought I’d be at 28 years old, none of which actually reflects my current life. I feel like all the pieces of my life are slowly coming together, in a weird game of tetris. Pieces that I never would have imagined working are now fitting in seamlessly with one another.

I’m the first to admit that I’m not always the most optimistic person. Some may go as far as to call me jaded. Like most people, I’ve had to deal with some of life’s typical lemons and I’m definitely not the girl who takes lemons and makes lemonade out of it (enough lemon drops to make me hazily recall whether or not I’d done/said something I’d regret but never lemonade). Unfortunately, this negative outlook had a detrimental effect on my relationships with friends, family and most importantly, myself.

Life is better right now, much better than I could have ever hoped for. It’s not perfect, but what is? I acknowledge that there’s room for a LOT of improvement in my life, and I’d like to set some goals for the three month countdown until my birthday.  Not all of my goals are feasible by December 15th and I won’t consider myself a complete and utter failure at life if I haven’t accomplished everything by then. Really, it’s more of a check-in date, a date to hold myself accountable to. If December 15 rolls around, and I haven’t done anything to accomplish these goals, then I have no excuse to complain about anything.

I’ll have to give these goals some serious consideration and hope to set them by the weekend.

Reading Angela’s post about her 9-11 flashbulb memory has gotten me thinking about what i was doing 9 years ago.

It was two weeks before my scheduled move to San Diego. I was a sassy 18 years old, definitely in that stage where “i’m 18 years old and getting ready to move to college. I’m so old, so knowledgeable and I can do whatever I want.” I was awake bright and early, because it was my (ex)bf’s 18th birthday and we had “so much planned” (really? I can’t even recall what was planned. I’m pretty sure by normal adult standards, it was insignificant. Haha, we probably had plans to movie hop!).

It was just before 6am, and I was walking out to the kitchen to start my day. My dad was there, watching the news (not out of the ordinary). I started telling him about all the things I had planned for the day (seriously, what was I supposed to do that day?!) and he immediately cut me off and told me that I wasn’t going ANYWHERE that day.

Immediately these thoughts began spinning through my head “Say what? Excuuuuuse me, did you say I couldn’t go out? I am 18 years and I can do what I want and did you not hear what my plans for the day were?!” But before I could whine about how I was 18 years old, an adult who could do WHATEVER I WANTED because hello, I was moving to San Diego and WOULD do whatever I wanted, our attention was drawn back to the news coverage. Wait, what? Why is that plane flying towards that building?

And in that moment, everything changed. That moment where I was 18 years old, so sure that I knew more about life than my dad did? I’ll never forget it, adolescent ranting and all. I’ll never forget the addiction to watching the news, the need to know what was going on, even if none of it was good. I eventually did get of the house that day, but sadly it was never really about celebrating. It was about praying together. Crying together. Keeping friends’ spirits up when they realized they couldn’t get ahold of family or friends. It was about learning to deal with the clusterf*ck of emotions – fear, anger, sadness, hopelessness, grief.

It was about loving my country, and realizing what it meant to be proud to be an American.

My thoughts are with everyone who was affected by the horrible events.

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